Grace The Celebrant
Civil Celebrant. 📍NSW
‘I'm not up there as a celebrant to put on a song and dance - rather I see my role as a facilitator and a storyteller and that is my skill set. Being able to take the couple and their guests on a beautiful journey of their lives together, with the delivery tailored to the couple. Finding the tone to suit them and who they are.’ – Grace Deavin
After pulling up and parking my car, I knew this location was not the vibe.
I suggested to Grace Deavin (Grace The Celebrant) that for our interview, we meet in the middle. So, I picked out a park that would be nice. Well, come to parking the car and looking out before me, it was a footy field. Attached to it was an old tennis club and there was one man sitting out the front of it, cleaning his racket.
I know she has arrived once I hear someone park their car behind me and a voice call out, ‘Are you Caitlin?’ Her next response after I confirmed her question was, ‘Why here?’
And all I can say is that I saw it on Google Maps and it looked like it might just be a nice park. I mean, it did have play equipment off to the side behind the tennis club after all.
Note to self: be more meticulous about your interview location choices.
Once we found a seat that looked reasonable with no gum marks and not rained on from the night before, we started adjusting to the eb and flow of the interview process.
From start to finish, I noticed flashes of tender moments Grace had when speaking about her experiences as a civil celebrant. She is the kind of person that makes your wedding feel like you are getting married by a friend, not just a random celebrant. She told me the tale of a girl from Goulburn just trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life and how it led to becoming a sought-after celebrant in the industry.
The conviction she spoke with when describing different moments of her life and work felt truly authentic and full of passion. She told me how she comes to understand each couple’s wants and needs for their big day and how she facilitates this.
I found Grace to be quite genuine and her personality and presence to be very soothing and comfortable. She showed that she is incredibly respectful when it comes to looking after not only the couple she is marrying but their families and friends too. She considers everything and everyone, not simply what’s just in front of her.
A nice breath of fresh air is Grace The Celebrant.
The Interview
Let’s start with how long have you been a celebrant for?
‘I have been a celebrant for almost, two years, I think.’
Where are you from? Are you from North Sydney or this area?
‘No, I grew up in Goulburn. Yeah, I moved to Wollongong for uni. I was there for five years then Sydney on and off for about six years with a stint in Alice Springs for two years, which is where I was when I first became a celebrant.’
What made you want to get into the industry?
‘I was just looking for something I could do that would be really fun and full of love and exciting and I was just kind of brainstorming. I was getting sick of my other job and I just thought of being a marriage celebrant and thinking that I could do that. Then I think I went to a wedding around that time and the celebrant, I thought, was quite bad. I thought, I could do that so much better. It was on a bit of a whim really. So I did the course, started doing it and then from my first ceremony I thought, holy s*** this is amazing. I was just hooked. It was such an amazing, natural high being with two people and being in that amazing moment where they cross the threshold into marriage and guiding them through that process is so special.’
What are three adjectives you would describe your business?
‘Personal, authentic and fun.’
Do you have any favourite wedding traditions or customs you like to include in ceremonies?
‘One thing I always, I mean, every ceremony I do is different because every ceremony, well particularly if they are going for the package with all the bells and whistles that’s fully inclusive, which is my favourite one to do. I sit down and write the entire ceremony from scratch with the couple so they have say what goes in, traditions they include and traditions they exclude.
But one thing I always offer which all my couples have loved is for if the parents want to give a blessing and it’s kind of a nice contemporary alternative to the “giving away” where the father of the daughter gives his daughter away to her new partner. It’s nice to address both the parents to each of the parties getting married and thank them for the sacrifices made and the love given over the years into making who these people are and for their ongoing support into the future.
Then I invite each parent, I address them by name and say, “Do you welcome Tom or whoever into your family and give him your love, trust and support?” Then the parents say, “We do.” Then vice versa. It’s just a really beautiful moment to bring them in and acknowledge them and especially acknowledging mums as well, like both parents, instead of just the father of the bride. That can be really special.’
Whose wedding would you like to officiate? Any person’s wedding in the world?
‘Well, I did slide into Albo’s (Anthony Albanese) DMs when he got engaged recently to see if he liked me as a celebrant. Just wanted to throw my hat in the ring.’
What is the most memorable wedding location you have married a couple?
‘It would probably be the first one I did, which was when I was living in Alice Springs. The first couple I married was in the Finke Gorge National Park which is about two and a half hours outside Alice Springs. Palm Valley, which is inside the national park, is just this wild place that due to geographical luck, over thousands of years, this valley has created the perfect conditions, in terms of the soil and the moisture content for this amazing valley of palm trees in the heart of the desert. It’s like this tropical oasis. It’s the most amazing place.
The most special thing about that wedding was that this couple lived out in a remote community outside Alice Springs and they were very much embedded in the local community. I also always start my ceremonies with an Acknowledgement of Country. Yeah, so several of their guests were Western Arrernte elders, the owners of that land and giving my acknowledgement to them as the owners, I was saying to myself, “Don’t mess this up. This is very important and sacred and incredible. Don’t say the wrong thing.”
That was probably the most nerve-wracking part of that ceremony as it was so important to me to get that right for them. I remember, after I did my acknowledgement, I looked up at one of the elders and she just gave me a little nod and a smile and I thought, Phew, okay, I did my job right. Now let’s get them married.’
What is one of the most unique and memorable moments of any wedding you’ve officiated at?
‘Just over a year ago, my friends got married and they got married on her family farm under this amazing, huge, beautiful fig tree. That place was so special to them because the mother of the bride, who had sadly passed away a few years prior, her ashes were sprinkled under that tree and its…… you know, this tree was so significant to them and being able to have everyone there and acknowledge her and the impact of her on them, on their lives. Just including that in a marriage ceremony, the purpose of ‘ceremony’ is acknowledgement and acknowledging something important and that goes for acknowledging the light and dark in life and the choice that people make in pushing through that, through challenges and emotional times and coming together, that is really special.’
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